


wait for blue

by standsinthetrees



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Color AU, Death, F/F, I DON'T WANNA BE THE REASON YOU GET TRIGGERED., If you get triggered easily, Implied/Referenced Suicide, JUST STAY AWAY FROM THIS, Lowercase, M/M, OKAY NO MORE TAGGING!!!! WHHOOOOOO, Social Anxiety, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Tree Bros, and evan's stepmom is named elise, dont read this, evan loves trees, galaxy girls, i actually don't know where the story is going so i'm just putting a shit ton of tags, im legit repeating myself, intentional lowercase, its sad and depressing, like death happens but later?, okay so i names evan's dad robert, okay we cool w that, soulmate type au?, thats kinda a lie?, this actually really sad, this is gay and sad like me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-28 06:58:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11412654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/standsinthetrees/pseuds/standsinthetrees
Summary: "wait for blue." a patient voice chanted in his head. and he saw it. he saw blue. and he's never felt so free. so... happy.intentional lower case.credit for all characters credit goes to benj pasek, justin paul, and steven levenson. however, if they kinda become oc, i'm sorry! i also gave evan's dad and stepmom a name. :)





	wait for blue

**Author's Note:**

> hi! welcome to sadness and depression. basically this is pain. and i cried while writing this. i also have no idea where this is going, so we're on the journey together!!!!

"wait for blue." a patient voice chanted in his head. and he saw it. he saw blue. and he's never felt so free. so... happy.

-

how did we get here?

heidi and robert hansen's baby boy, evan, was born into the world. heidi and robert thought evan would be able to be the glue in their relationship.

spoiler alert: it didn't work out.

robert met some woman in some bar. this woman was named elise. robert divorced heidi, married elise, moved to colorado, and had three kids. heidi cried. she cried and cried. she always told evan that he should wait for blue. he'll fall in love, he'll see all the other colors, but he needs to wait for blue. blue means true love, your soulmate.

-

cynthia and larry murphy's eldest child, a boy named connor, only felt blue. he never felt red, he never felt yellow. he always missed everything else. he was cynthia and larry's blue boy. he would get angry and mad and black. the next second he'd be blue, numb, and terrified. something was clearly wrong with the boy, but all the murphy's did was so what they did best. ignore the cries for help, and punish him for something he couldn't help and do. connor's little sister was terrified and glad she didn't have blue. blue was a color she associated to connor, and connor was no good. if connor was no good, then blue must be no good too. that was little zoe's reasoning. unfortunately, it stuck with her throughout her life. the mantra that "connor is blue. connor is bad. blue is bad. you don't need blue."

-

zoe saw blue. she was terrified, scared, and unhappy. she found her blue in alana beck, a girl in connor's grade. she was kind, sweet, and patient. alana helped zoe learn the truth about blue. blue is a pretty, helpless color. a color that needs understanding, a color that has been placed into this box. zoe learned too late that alana wasn't talking just about the color.

-

evan was scared. he was scared he'll never find his blue. he'll end up like his mom. his unhappy, overworking mom. his mom who didn't need another burden in her life. but who would learn to love an anxiety-ridden kid? evan learned too late that his anxiety doesn't define who loves him.

**Author's Note:**

> hEY! leave a kudo, a comment, anything to make me feel validated as an author. i was gonna leave this as a one shot, but i'm like lol no! anywwaaay, give me some ideas as I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO START! too many ideas i tell you. anyway, imma stop rambling. and i hope you like this! the idea came from a hamilton fic where it was like "wait for yellow" and @Starsky205's "Color me [adjective]"


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